Archive for March, 2006

Concerning Delivery

After these preliminaries, prepare your speech and allow space and time for interpolations. Although you speak from an outline, it is well to write it out as a guide for timing your talk.

There are four possible ways for delivering a speech:
1. Write it out now and read it to the audience later.
2. Write it out, memorize it, and then deliver it.
3. Write out only an outline, and memorize the ideas.
4. Present a wholly impromptu speech.

Highly technical papers, elaborate theses, and papers of state, require profound study and should be read for accuracy’s sake. Any other speech should not be read word for word. Writing it out is all right but reading it isn’t. They want you to talk to them-and if you read your speech with your head bowed you automatically lose most of your personal appeal your animated face and sparkling eyes, and all else that makes you a sought-after personality.

You might memorize your speech: This has an advantage in that you will cut down on time and you’ll employ fancy phrases you wouldn’t ordinarily use. Yet those who give a completely “learned-by-heart” lecture always sound stiff and stilted. They are lacking in spontaneity. These memory-moguls still write out and refer to notes for, if memory should fail them and they are cruelly caught with their lines down, they’d be in a pitiful plight.

The wholly spontaneous and impromptu talk is best avoided if at all possible. However if you think there is any possibility that you might be asked to say a few words, it’s handy to have a few quips on hand. If you are urged to comment on a pending matter with which you are wholly unfamiliar, express appreciation for the recognition you received; tell the audience you know so little about the problem that you’d rather sit down before your ignorance shows.  Then do exactly that!

Concerning the Speech

Before preparing your speech, bear in mind the organization and the type of audience to be addressed. There are many different types of audiences within every community. A popular speaker addresses highly intelligent gatherings of professional people, literary groups, etc., one day; the next, a football banquet, Scout Rally, or a convention of salesmen. In each instance the audience must be taken into consideration both in the speech to be delivered and the manner in which it is to be presented.

It is important to decide whether your remarks should be light or heavy, moderately serious or hilariously funny. Ask yourself: Why did they invite me? What do they want to hear from me? What do I know of their organization? Which anecdotes will please them most?

If this is a return engagement-did something interesting occur at the earlier meeting? Would some personal experience especially appeal to this gathering? Did they suggest a topic? And what is their particular interest in it? Find out who is to introduce you and what would serve best as an “ad lib” opener. Well in advance, send publicity material to the organization concerning you and your speech.

Concerning Publicity

Good publicity concerning your public appearances pays off. Cecil B. DeMille recognized the potency of publicity. When asked why he made so many biblical pictures he chuckled and said, “Why let two thousand years of publicity go to waste?”
It is well to remember that publicity not only develops your confidence, it increases your popularity.

Courtesy demands that the speaker acknowledge the introduction that worked up the applause. Politicians and candidates are apt to overdo this by paying their respects not only to the presiding officer and the one who made the introduction-but by tossing in everyone at the speakers’ table and getting carried away enough to include the janitor as a member of Local No. 9 and then thank him for the heat!

Most speakers stray from this stereotyped style long enough to acknowledge the introduction; this they accomplish by pausing long enough for the audience to settle down. This isn’t the pause that refreshes-it’s the one that depresses. It depresses “public speaking palpitations” by giving the speaker time to take a few deep breaths to fight off stage-fright and to get his brain in gear before he gives it the gas.

Most speakers start with the standard style:

“Mr. President (Chairman or Toastmaster), and Mr. Introductory Speaker (mention him by name), Ladies and Gentlemen:”

Only a seasoned satirist would dare begin with a bang by berating his listeners at the very start-as for instance ignoring all introductory remarks at a stockbrokers’ meeting and simply saying: “Good afternoon, Glorified Gamblers; I bring you greetings from the F. S. C. (Federal Security Commission).”

The regular routine requires an acknowledgment and a complimentary comment concerning his introduction, or a quick comeback if the introductory speaker has indulged in any kidding. It is a comfort to have extemporaneous acknowledgments at your tongue-tip, but a fitting remark on one occasion may be out of place at another.

You might tell a pride of Lions that you appreciated the feelings of the cow that, on a wintry day, told the hired man, “Thanks for the warm hand.” But that same sentiment expressed at a mixed meeting in an urban area might draw “udder” disgust.

Keep the Program Moving

Organizations are increasingly aware of the importance of conducting meetings on schedule and restricting speakers to definite time limits. The Chicago Bar Association employs a splendid system:

Judge Arthur Murphy and his members of the Committee on Arrangements dine together near the speakers’ table and keep the chairman on course by flasher signals. It works wonders! Annual reports from fifteen different committees (remember all lawyers!) are presented within a fifty minute period. This dispatch leaves the speaker of the evening sufficient time to develop his topic before the suburbanites dash for the nine o’clock commuters’ special.

Religiously following a time schedule avoids these incidents so aggravating to the speaker who has been requested to present a limited-time address. He has carefully prepared his material to fit the schedule and then, due to the inability of the toastmaster to observe that timing, he is asked at the eleventh hour to condense his time and butcher his talk. This rudeness is paralleled only by a toast-master who completely ignores the speaker once his speech is concluded, and overlooks thanking him and commending him for his address. A few brief words are sufficient, but a lengthy review is quite out of place.

Be Equipped with a Quip

An efficient toastmaster supplies himself with fitting quips of recent vintage to cover up confusion from those “unforeseen” circumstances that arise at every meeting. Some programs allow for an informal intermission (often after the “eatin”‘). On one occasion this pause in getting the “speakin’” part of the meeting under way was delayed because of proximity to the bar. The toastmaster after calling the meeting to order, announced that the speaker looked upon drinking as something similar to spelling Mississippi-a matter of knowing where to stop . . . but while waiting for the introductory speaker to fortify his feelings, he mentioned one guest who was also absent, saying:

He is a tavern keeper and though he personally never drinks the stuff, he’s generally full-of tavern tales. He tells about a lushed-up loquatious Texan who brags about a music-minded buddy of his who leaves home fit as a fiddle and staggers back tight as a drum. One spree landed him in jail and in telling the Court why he thought the prisoner was really drunk, the arresting officer explained: “I saw him put a penny in the patrol box on Fourth Street, look up at the clock on the corner Church, and holler ‘Yippee-I’ve lost fourteen pounds.’”

Another time he attended a tearful, bibulous wake. The guests who could still stand on their feet took the corpse from the coffin and substituted a passed-out pal. Hours later this understudy for the deceased, awakened. In trying to adjust to his surroundings he pondered, “I must be dead or I wouldn’t be in this casket. But if I’m dead, why do I wonder where the bathroom is?” Very often when a general discussion follows a speech on a controversial subject, the toastmaster (who is required by custom to remain strictly neutral) is pressed for his opinion. He might escape this awkward situation with the story of the politician who took to the fence for safety when he was caught between conflicting fields of thought -by saying:

It appears that many prefer this proposed procedure, and they include a number of my friends. I too can see the logical way they face these facts. It also appears that others oppose the plan, and they also include many of my friends. I respect their reasoning. Now you ask for my views: Well, I’ve given the issue a lot of thought and I agree that it is a vital issue-one that’s too big for any one person to settle by himself. It’s a subject a man wants to discuss with his friends. I’ve done precisely that-and I stand strictly for my friends.

Introductory speakers, especially when the program is long and the speaker is a noted man, often urge the audience to rise and honor the guest. This serves a dual purpose: It pleases the speaker, and relaxes his audience with a limited seventh inning stretch.

The presiding toastmaster at every culinary catastrophe must be prompt, yet seem to be phlegmatic. He may appear to be caustic but he must stay calm.

As waiters clear the tables, the toastmaster looks out at the jovial crowd, then turns to the principal speaker: “Shall we let them enjoy themselves a little longer or shall we introduce you now?”

While it’s important for the toastmaster to emote, it also is important that his jokes tie into his text. Generalities instead of specific relevant stories are too apt to make his emotions distort the facts as in the case of little Sue when hers got mixed:

When her Daddy lost patience with her bickering, he sent her to her room and sped her reluctant departure with a resounding swat. Immediately afterward he felt sorry and followed her for a reconciliation.

In her room, there she stood before her mirror, viewing her reddened little rear. On seeing her Daddy her eyes flashed indignation as she pointed, “See, you went and cracked it!”

The toastmaster must assume responsibility for the complete program. He should know when to pop up and when to pop down by working out a schedule in detail and then faithfully follow its sequence. A program that’s been mishandled becomes overly-long, is improperly timed, or lacks dispatch, worries the speaker for fear the suburbanites will leave to catch the last train home. The person making the introduction should take the monkey off the speaker’s back accept responsibility for delay-and apologize for any lack of tact.

The toastmaster sets the pace of the meeting. He acts in the capacity of a host for it’s up to him to start the ball rolling and to keep the show on the right road. The keynote of his introductions must be levity, whether he introduces one single speaker at a luncheon, or a table load of penguins dressed in black tie and tux for the big banquet.

Banquet Talks

The institution known as the banquet is well described as an affair where a speaker eats a lot of food he doesn’t want, and talks about something he doesn’t understand to lots of people who don’t want to hear him!

A banquet is the answer to every fund-raising need that arises, and they follow a standard pattern: the crowd, the chatter, that mob at the bar, the hunt for a table, a long wait for cold gravy, small talk, big olives and crisp carrots awash in melting ice; hard rolls that crumble on the table cloth and butter as invulnerable as linoleum. Finally the queue for your coat and hat. That banquet is rare where everyone is served at about the same time; where there’s plenty of coffee, a prompt program, and the speaker is not only audible but also knows what he’s talking about.

Ella Jones tells about banquet time in this rhyme:
Now the season has arriven
When the annual feasts are given.
Same old dinners stale and flat,
Same old dabs of this and that,
Same old liquors dulling senses,
Same old stupid audiences,
Same old speeches, same old stories,
Same spread-eagle oratories,
Same old subjects, same toastmasters,
Interspersed with Poetasters,
Same old high-brows, same old jokers,
Same old crowd of mediocres,
Same old languid never-minders,
Same old busy ax-to-grinders,
Same old ennui never ending,
Same old midnight homeward wending.

Banquets become a bore to the lecturer who rides the hard roll circuit, with menus that vary from hawg jowl and corn bread to stewing hen and dumplings interspersed with hash that’s come to a head (commonly called croquettes), spam under glass, and that high hat for hamburger-Salisbury steak.

These entrees always are preceded by burlesque salad (a ripe tomato with a little dressing), and washed down with mouse-colored coffee thin as warm water …. or reheated Java that’s thicker than the plaster on the wall.

Practically every speaker has two lines-the one he puts out when he’s on the platform and the other provides his living. A plug for the second of these often is the sole remuneration he receives for his platform performance. His line interests the audience because everyone likes to know -how green is his pasture?

Spur the Modest Speaker

A maid once asked her mistress to advance a part of her month’s wages. “You see,” she explained, “our pastor is going away and we are making a collection so that we can give him a little ‘momentum, “

There are speakers who need a little “momentum” too, a bit of prodding. This may be accomplished by padding the introduction … by attributing some particular virtue to him, then giving that virtue a build-up. Thus he sparkles in reflected light. Suppose we call our speaker a realist, saying that as a young man he started out to set the world on fire, but often returned for more matches. This relative term “realist” could apply to almost anyone, and having tied him to the term, let’s play up realists and say:

Some folks are optimists. It’s wonderful to be one of these and to go through life convinced that nothing but good will happen. An optimist may be baldheaded, yet he makes every opportunity a hair-raising experience. Other people are pessimists. A pessimist makes opportunity because he prefers to borrow trouble. It requires no interest.

But our speaker is a realist-a man who realizes that no good cook breaks an egg directly into the pan. Common sense is another reliable booster; it doesn’t show on a person, but we may presume that the speaker has some; then play it up this way:

Nature’s gifts include the five senses-touch, taste, sight, smell and hearing. Two others we earn the hard way, because we have to strive for horse sense and common sense. Nothing in our text books teaches either of these, yet they are more practical than all the lore of antiquity. It isn’t unheard of for a man with a head full of Latin and Greek to starve, when a grain of common sense could earn him great wealth. Common sense like horse sense, is only found in a stable mind and our speaker’s stable mind also knows how to store a lot of hay.

This last remark perks up the audience’s ears, and readies them for the speaker.

Should he be a firm member or a company official, it’s safe to presume that he promotes teamwork. Thus we tie him into this trite term, “teamwork,” and then tie that trait into some athletic experience he probably had. He might have been captain of the varsity or a second string sub on the beanbag team; this is irrelevant, but the salient fact remains that from this background he gleaned that athletics is more than a game; it’s the first crucible where men’s minds are blended and turned toward teamwork. “Our speaker learned early and proved in later life that it pays to play ball with the other fellow. This is a noble virtue, and our speaker is right there in the batter’s box.”

If, however, the speaker operates a one-man stand, has a doctor, dentist, or Divinity practice, or runs an individual business; or has an individual law business and so doesn’t rely upon a long list of partners and associates, many of whom have gone or have been on their way to their reward for a long time, the approach is different. We must then play up the man who lives as he pleases, the man who won’t let his life be cramped into a prescribed pattern and who refuses to have his habits honed until he is rounded to conform to a smooth monotony.

These lone wolves, dissenters and “aginer” individualists are an admirable lot. We can be grateful for the “collosal gall” of Mark Twain who put American vernacular into prose, and color into conventional English. We can respect Sinclair Lewis whose Babbitt satirized narrow-minded businessmen; and we can revere Will Rogers whose candid comments, wrapped with nothing but rope, could convert a king into an ordinary kind of guy. Here we have the appositive of the teamworker speaker, commingling with commanding company.