Egglaying Eggheads

In their oval, high-browed heads, eggheads carry a heavy mental load. In their highly intellectual way they keep preoccupied with matters of the mind and disregard those of the moment (except maybe for a few of the practical ones considered “hard boiled.”

A sensible girl has enough sense not to look sensible but her intellectual sister usually is low-heeled, high-minded, wearing her hair plain and her clothes the same. She’s the exact opposite of the sensual gal who holds a man at arm’s length without losing her grip. Since Stevenson introduced the egghead into politics, Washington’s crowded with more of the same in plush political jobs. They’re the noticeable fans at horse-races, because they roll the daily scratch sheet inside a Foreign Affairs Quarterly. In addition to wielding political weight, many of our foremost professions need these mental giants.

There was a time when people thought of psychosis as being something one caught from a sick parrot. Today’s psychoanalysis is on a level with “my operation” as a conversation piece. Psychiatrists sit in their overwrought iron and nutty pine offices waiting to tune up, normalize and simonize ailing minds. They’re ready to tell for a price what your wife told you a thousand times for nothing. The only difference is that if you don’t pay the psychiatrist promptly he’ll give you your mania back. Psychiatrists try to find an alter-ego for every patient whether it’s for a man’s gears that won’t mesh-or for the wife who gave her husband a piece of her own mind every day until she finally lost it.

A sane person who sees a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. These mind-men seldom see things eye to eye. Their profession has as many crackpots as a porcelain factory and it isn’t easy to unravel the talk of technicians when they can’t agree. Their own conflicting opinions add a neurosis to the patient’s problems. That’s the same as a psychosis except it makes one more nervous.

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