Moral stories, Illogical, and Loose lines

Moral Stories

Farmer Fencerow was walking across his fields when he came upon a rattler trapped by a fallen tree. In a benevolent mood because of his good crop, he lifted the tree and let the snake slither free. He was surprised when it followed him home with such strong signs of affection, that he decided to keep the reptile for a pet. That night he hurried downstairs to see what the commotion was about and found his new pet curled around a burglar’s neck it’s tail stuck out the window rattling for help!

Another rattler crawled into town and also was pinned by a bough. A tipsy sodbuster lifted the limb. The grateful creature, its beady eyes soft with appreciation, followed its benefactor home. For many years it served as his bodyguard, rattling affection and curling beneath his bunk by night, catching flies by day.
The moral is that you’re lower than a snake if you fail to show appreciation for a favor.

Illogical Lines

Both feminine fancies and government goofs make a fellow wonder about logic. This is particularly true when you consider the young girl who says Freddy is intelligent, sensible, thoughtful and kind; but Billy’s a welcome relief! Her chorus girl chum answered by describing the new stage-door Johnny who’s just the kind of a guy who takes “no” for an answer.

After a particularly bitter quarrel a husband and wife decided that they’d divide the house-he’d have one side and she’d take the other. That was fine until the husband asked which one was his, and she told him, “You can have the outside-I’ll take the inside!” Another illogical lady was luncheoning with a friend. After a prolonged discussion about the check she ended it by saying, “Of course, if you insist on paying I can’t stop you. After all you are my guest!”

We had a little old lady who left the services early every Sunday morning and explained, “Now if everyone left when I do, they’d all avoid the crowd.”

When California’s criminologist Orlando Wilson came to Chicago to clean up some of its police practices, he asked a sergeant why the Department paid four men to walk the same beat at the same time. Surely there couldn’t be work enough to keep four men going? “That’s right,” the sergeant told him, “but if they weren’t there, there would be!” Cities and villages worry about banning fireworks, while Washington keeps working for mightier missiles; and until recently we sent missionaries to China to help them get to Heaven … at the same time we laid down laws to keep them out of America.

Loose Lines

People the world over have listened to lines that began even before Beowulf, and reach down to the latest political platform. The most remote aborigine was the product of a long line his Mother listened to … and the Indian maiden hit by Cupid’s arrow handed Hiawatha a lot of teepee talk about keeping her wigwam. Today’s adolescent Alvin still tells his Debby how he’ll protect her from hurt and harm.

There are other lines besides those that gave Minnehaha a bow and arrow (or was it a beau and error?) The fisherman has his special line; the Navy’s is purely nautical; the stagecoach driver maneuvered lines by the handful. . . and even the old bullwhacker depended on the “lead” line he clutched. These days we listen to the salesman’s palaver, business man’s bull, and every means employed by management. All are lines that lead to something. We’ve sought to set out samplings of these tall tales and loose lines for use on your audiences.

Keywords: Public Speaking, Public Speakers, Public Speaking Tips, Public Seminar Speaking

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