More on Feminine doings and dealings

Generally speaking, women are generally speaking. They’re particularly hard to beat at small talk. Rhetoric refers to the Mother tongue because men so seldom get a chance to use it-which bears out an incident involving a group of archaeologists. When they uncovered an ancient Indian burial ground, a woman on the sidelines reminded the workers that they were committing a crime; that even an ancient Indian is entitled to privacy in his burial ground and the diggers should be ashamed of disturbing the dead.

Finally when a skeleton was identified as that of an Indian squaw the annoying bystander insisted on knowing how they could be so sure. One of the weary workers looked up from the pit and told her, “Well, M’am, for one thing the lower jaw’s worn out.” A man seldom has a chance to be heard because women talk so fast, so long, and so often that his own words choke to death behind his bridgework. If a woman could talk out of two sides of her mouth at the same time, a lot would be said on both sides (as evidenced by the fact that more divorces are granted because women talk too much than for any other single reason).

Little boys learn not to say everything they think because if they do, someone will knock their blocks off; nobody does that to a little girl so she says what she pleases until she grows into a garrulous old lady. Women are said to be unable to keep a secret yet a woman-not a man mind you-keeps our most closely guarded diplomatic data . . . secrets that could affect all of our lives. Should it ever become necessary for the President to push the panic button, this woman will be the one to point it out for him. She is Secretary to the Secretary of State.

A boy begins early to wonder about women. Little Tommy pondered why God had made Adam before Eve if it’s supposed to be polite to let women be first? Knowing Mom had gone off to market, his Dad told Tommy, “He didn’t want any advice while He was making Adam!”

Women live longer than men because they are girls for so long; they want to stay around lest they’ll miss something. A woman’s promise to be on time usually carries a lot of wait, and when she shows up late she’s all peaches and cream. Her tardy arrival is a studied plan to make her (for the moment) the center of attention. It’s only when she’s trying to park her car that she doesn’t like being that center of attraction.

From now on, men will have to hanker in vain for a hideout since women have invaded every off-limit province that men once held sacred. The zany Prohibition era was born because women were barred from entering saloons by the front door. After repeal those saloons turned into lounges or taverns catering to the petticoat trade. Feminine advancement has chilled chivalry; since men stopped flipping their lids in a lift, let women stand up in a bus, let her light her own cigarette . . . it’s because she’s been smitten with her own might.

God made woman beautiful so that man would love her, and He made her foolish so she’d love him. But for every woman who makes a fool out of a man, there’s another who makes a man out of a fool.

Keywords: Public Speaking, Public Speakers, Public Speaking Tips, Public Seminar Speaking

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