Using Adages in speeches

Addled Adages

Adages are short sentences based upon long experience. These have grown so addled with age that they’ve lost all pride of authorship.

One of life’s puzzles is how a fool and his money got together in the first place.
One robin doesn’t make a spring, nor does one lark bring a fall.
One good turn usually gets most of the blanket.
A watched pot means somebody forgot to ante.
A house divided doesn’t fall; it rents for twice as much.
He who chickens out then runs away-lays an egg another day.
Little things count-especially when they get their allowances.
Who said life’s a bowl of cherries? It’s a bunch of raisins -raisin’ kids, raisin’ money, raisin’ hell.
Opportunity knocks but once for a man; it whistles all the time for a pretty girl.
A change of lipstick now and then is relished by the best of men.
Too many martinis spoil the broth.
Out of the mouths of babes come words parents shouldn’t have said in the first place.
People in glass houses shouldn’t live within a stone’s throw of each other.
A bird in hand is the best way to eat chicken.
The woman’s work that’s never done is what she left for her husband.
What’s good for the goose is often grabbed by the gander.
Muddy waters sometimes conceal a shallow bottom.
Live by the golden rule and give unto others the advice you can’t use.
Early to bed and early to rise until you have enough cash to do otherwise.
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re like everybody else.
Just when you convince the kids they can’t put more into a container than it will hold-along comes a woman in slacks.
The average man doesn’t want to paddle his own canoe -he wants to buy a motor boat.
Instead of crying over spilt milk-go get another cow.
When you sit on top of the world, remember it turns over once a day.
Just when his doctor said to keep his mind young-his wife told him to act his age.
If at first you don’t succeed-forget it.
If you think practice makes perfect, it’s because you don’t live near a youngster taking violin lessons.
Hell hath no fury like a woman with a broken zipper.
A wild goose never lays a tame egg.
Hard work never hurt a man wealthy enough to hire somebody to do it.
If it goes up it has to come down-unless it goes into orbit.
If the shoe fits-a woman tries one smaller.
The water that drives the mill-decays it.
Don’t take life too seriously-you won’t get out of it alive.

That’s the trouble with adages-start fooling around with them and they are apt to turn out no truer than a toupee.
Adages seldom prove a point because all too often one adage has another counterpoint; a modern motto says “Get in the groove”-while an old adage cautions “Don’t get in a rut!”

Lawyers are accused of being verbose, and often are asked why one simple statement can’t cover every situation. The answer to that one is simple: It’s because (as any woman will tell you) men approach the same proposition in different ways. Divergent views make adages just an ancient, lazy way of giving free advice.

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