Using Eavesdrippings

Call these research or whatever you like-but here are some gems, submitted without pride of authorship. (We wouldn’t claim them!)

Girl Gossip:
I never say anything about her unless it’s good- and oh boy-is this good!
Certainly I noticed how her house was shined up for the party; by the way-did you ever stop by in the morning?
It’s a beautiful dress dear; I said so to your daughter too when she wore it last week.
Her figure’s better since she plays golf twice a week; but that hot sun’s sure made her skin look like leather!
Betty’s looking just beautiful these days; what’s the name of her make-up?
She’s descended from the long line her mother listened to.

Girl Gossip:
This is a gift for my husband; his collar’s I6J2, sleeve 33 and charge account 7164.
Her pearls are lovely-she must have played plenty:
You don’t say! Ye Gods-her first one’s only two months old.
Sally: He’s tall, dark and has the sweetest smile. His name’s Harold and whenever he kisses me he says mine are the sweetest lips in the world.
Mary: Oh, THAT Harold!

Hedging:
Husband to wife trying on fur coat: “For Heaven’s sake Ruth-there are cheaper ways to fight a cold!”

Helpers:
Mother of two small boys to handyman raking leaves: “How much extra to let them help?”

Puppy Love:
1st Bobbysoxer: I think he likes me, he wishes I was a boy.
2nd Bobbysoxer: What I like about Billy is that he likes me.
Ours isn’t an engagement yet-it’s still a sort of skirmish.

Prude:
The trouble with his money is that he goes with it.
He thinks he’s a gentleman because he prefers blondes.
Henry has a fine mind but the rest of him spoils things.

Sex:
Sonny, seeing a circus poster:  “Look Ma-no bra!”

Wolf:
Can I give you a lift? I happen to be going wherever it is.

Tags: public speaking

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